We all have daily routines. Routines are things we do that help create constancy and order. Routines become habits over time. We do not put much thought or effort into them.
Routines are the things we do on autopilot, without being mindful of our intentions. Our routines include brushing our teeth, eating meals and checking social media.
Couples have routines as well. These are the rote habits that couples engage in on a daily basis. These include morning greetings, texting through the day, and talking at night. The problem with couple routines is that they are often mindfulness and shallow.
It’s easy to go through the motions with your spouse. As a result, we may find ourselves sleepwalking through our relationship!
Esther Perel writes about the importance of transforming your routines into rituals. Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning.
Rituals are the things that we do with our partner that are intentional and imbued with purpose. Rituals are mindful routines. Rituals help us step out of autopilot mode and be present to our relationship.
Rituals of Connection: 3 Examples
In our marriage or relationship, we can be creative in thinking of ways to create meaningful rituals. How creative can you be in intentionally creating routines that your spouse or partner will find meaningful?
Below are a few examples to spark your creativity:
1. Morning Coffee
Make your partner coffee in the morning. Bring it to them in bed or invite them into the kitchen.
Don’t rush the experience. Take the time to savor every drop. Look into your spouse’s eyes. Take a moment to hold their hand.
Ask them if you can do anything for them that day. Kiss them for more than a split second before you walk out the door.
2. Afternoon
Text your partner throughout the day. Don’t text “I love you” or “What are we having for dinner?” Take a moment to send something thoughtful and creative.
Text your spouse something that you appreciate about them. Tell them about something your grateful for.
Texting can also be a means of sparking the erotic flames of the relationship. Send your partner a sexy message or a desire about a future rendezvous.
The key is intentionality. Think before you text. How will your partner receive the message?
3. Evening
Take time at night to connect after a long day. Stress-reducing conversations can help calm your anxiety.
Open a bottle of wine or enjoy a cup of hot tea. Don’t rush the experience.
Ask your partner about their day. Listen with empathy and concern. You can rub your partner’s feet or shoulders.
Highlight things that went well that day and things that need improvement. This is not a time for judgment or criticism. This is a relaxing time for encouragement and connection.
Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling Can Help You Transform Routines into Rituals
Marriage counseling or couples therapy is not only for couples in crisis. Everyone can get something out of couples therapy.
Sometimes we need help transforming our routines into rituals. A trained marriage counselor or couples therapist is a third party that can look at your marriage patterns with a neutral eye.
Part of the process can be discussing creative ways to reconnect in mindful ways. A marriage counselor or couples therapist can help you snap out of autopilot mode. He/she can help you take conscious control of your relationship.
Couples therapy or marriage counseling can help your relationship feel more alive!
Begin Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Couples in Katy, Tx
At our Katy, Tx location of Katy Teen and Family Counseling, our marriage counselors and couples therapists can help.
If you are ready to start strengthening your relationship at Katy Teen & Family Counseling, all you need to do is follow these three simple steps:
Contact Katy Teen & Family Counseling
Speak with one of our marriage counselors or couples therapists
Let us help you remove the barriers in your life to help you succeed as a young adult
Other Therapy and Counseling Services Offered at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Katy, Tx & The Houston Area
At the Katy, Tx location of Katy Teen & Family Counseling, we also provide other counseling and therapeutic services such as teen therapy, young adult counseling, and family counseling.
Below are a few of the other counseling services we provide for teens, families, and young adults in Katy, Tx and Houston:
Neurofeedback Therapy
Peak performance (optimal academic brain performance)
Peak performance (optimal athletic brain performance)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR Therapy)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
About the Author
Quique Autrey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and family therapist. He is a seasoned young adult therapist who has helped many overcome their struggles.
He also is a family systems therapist. He views each individual through that lens and provides therapy for the family system which includes: teen therapy, young adult counseling, family counseling, marriage counseling & couples therapy.
Quique has helped those who experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, ADHD/ADD, and is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Quique also has a passion for helping teens, young adults, and adults who may be on the Autism Spectrum. He has a talent for connecting with and helping people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
If you're ready to start your healing journey in marriage counseling or couples therapy, you can call us at 346-202-4662 or email us at info@katyteenandfamilycounseling.com.
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